The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
