Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
