I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize
