i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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