I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
