So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
sex in a hospital.. check
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
