just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
