best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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