ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
