you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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