He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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