I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
