Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
