I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
