Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So many bounce houses so little time
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
