then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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