I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
ugly people sure do ruin things
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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