they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
