Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
