Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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