airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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