Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize