The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
