OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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