Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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