Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
