Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize