His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
