You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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