If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
