I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
