It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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