Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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