he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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