College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
