Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
