I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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