it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
