She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Watching her eat just hurts me
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
