where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
