going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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