Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
