i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
