no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
