Having a random hookup so left but love u
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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