addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My ass is underappreciated
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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