and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize