i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
