I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
