I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
