he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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