Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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