Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
