I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
