Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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