My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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